Vivid Living

This is a month of paradox. Our four children are winding down the summer and gearing up for school. Me, too, for as readers know, I’ve just begun a two-year MFA program in creative non-fiction writing at Goucher College. All week we’ve been purging old clothes, shoes, toys, books, papers and other mindless knick knacks, while making room for the requisite back-to-school sneakers, supplies and the like.

This “letting go” and “taking in” feels especially poignant to me right now since graduate school has me thinking a lot about balance.  Much as I would love to apply the intensity, discipline and solitude of my two-week Goucher residency to life at home, I can’t.  This focused time away to attend lectures, workshops, read, write and engage in community with other writers was a sacred and particular experience. To think that I can clone that platform anywhere else is plain foolish. I wear too many hats, as most of us do.

And yet, it is possible, I hope, to distill some of my experience by embracing balance. Routines will be set once school begins but weekends and vacation are more unstructured by definition, and therefore, thornier for working moms with fluid schedules. Time stops but moves along, too.

It’s a privilege to be a mom, responsibilities and all. It’s a privilege to be someone’s life partner and to help care for our home and family. It’s a privilege to be a daughter and friend and colleague. And it’s a privilege to be finding my voice as a writer.  Together, the parts add up to the whole.

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.” 
 Euripides (And woman!!!)

I had a mind-body experience last week.

While Keda from Denver’s Spa Universaire hung from parallel bars, deftly pressing her bare feet into my naked flesh, I couldn’t help but think about my voice.  In the midst of this killer Ashiatsu massage (killer as in deep release not pain), I was thinking about intention and the color yellow and the cleansing smell of orange, lemon and lavender.

You see, I had picked the word “Intention” from among the seven Chakra cards Keda presented (Chakras relate to our energy centers). It made perfect sense that this was the card and these were the oils I selected.

Because without intention, there could be no Vivid Living.  Writing with purpose and passion has helped me own my voice and give voice to others. Intention is what has carried me this first year while blogging, and increasingly, it’s at the center of everything I do. I try to begin the day thinking about intention – in terms of my family, my work, my friendships, and my desires.

You know what? It’s the best form of meditation I’ve discovered. That and a great body massage…

How do you bring intention into your life?

It’s been awhile. I know.

My friend, Cindy, is spot-on when she says May should be called MAYHEM.  I had one of my busiest work months ever, and for those of us with children, this month is always a whirlwind. Seems like every diorama project, field trip, spring fundraiser, and picnic takes place. Not to mention all the birthdays – in our own family alone, May and June must have been optimal the time to be born.

The good thing is that all of this is cause for celebration, something that’s been on my mind lately.  Because I’ve doing a lot of it.

And this spurt of good times and party going has taught me something: that the more you invite celebrations into your life, the more you want them.  They’re contagious, I think, in a good way.

While interviewing an executive the other week for a speech, she reminded me about an old maxim: “Attitudes are contagious; don’t let ‘em catch yours.”  Naturally, she said this in a different context, yet I can’t help but see the relevance here.  So much does depend upon our attitudes.  And experience tells me that the more open we are to extolling the singular blessings in our lives, the more we are able to connect the dots.  Suddenly, we see that one happy moment bleeds into the next, that the grass is greener, the sky appears wider, and the watermelon is more succulent.

My children also teach me that the simplest of moments ought to be cause for celebration – a winning presentation, success navigating friendship dynamics, an excellent story.  Yes.  We don’t need a ready-made event to celebrate.  I’ve come to believe that we can turn any finite moment into a mosaic of happiness.

Speaking of feasting on good times…I may be writing you next from Italy.  Steve and I are off to celebrate his 50th birthday.

Arrivederci, for now…

My last post generated some bold e-mails, enough to warrant a second glance at the concept of marrying your life.

It occurs to me that too often we squash our dreams.  The dreams that keep us up at night, gnawing at our subconscious because they are so revealing.   I’ve had a recurring dream of writing a book under a cherry blossom tree in Italy.   In the dream, I was alone, relaxed, mindful of the blush of pink flowers above me, the sweet fragrance in the air, and the pleasing view of the green and terra Italian countryside.  I wrote longhand. Imagine.

Two things have come of this dream:  my husband and I have decided to travel to Italy in June; and, I’ve decided to get my MFA in creative nonfiction writing at Goucher College.

How much simpler to follow the path of least resistance than to buck convention.   There are plenty of reasons why we probably shouldn’t go to Italy this summer, chief among them money.  And yet, what are we waiting for? Steve is celebrating a zero birthday. For a new couple with four kids between us, we’ve earned this romantic getaway.

As for the MFA, I’m ready.  After many years of juggling various responsibilities, I  yearn for focus and structured time to write.  In the quiet of the evening and the time-robbing bustle of the day, the vision has come to me slowly but convincingly.  At first I couldn’t embrace it.  Could I really make this sort of commitment to myself?  I worried about giving up consulting work; I worried about who would help with the kids during the annual two-week residency; I worried about balancing the demands of the program with those in my life; I worried about making a mistake.

But the greater part of me, the part that is married to my life, began to pay close attention to the voice inside saying “yes.”  This is the same voice that led me to recast my life nearly four years ago by moving to CO, and it’s clear for all to see what a positive move that has been.

If not now, when?

What dreams are tugging at you?

I’ve just read a jewel of a book that I want to recommend to women everywhere.  Called Secrets of Powerful Women, the book is a collection of short essays, advice and musings about power – how to seize it, hold it and share it.  The idea was born from the 2008 Democratic and Republican conventions at Lifetime’s Future Frontrunners Summit (which celebrated women’s voices in every corridor).

There are so many wise nuggets from trailblazers of every party, race, class, position and religion – women like Rosario Dawson, Fran Drescher, Andrea Wong, and Martha Bark. They speak candidly about facing fears, acting tough, staying true to your vision, shoring up mentors, and harnessing the power of the petition. As Vivid Living celebrates life in full bloom, thorns and all (look at my tagline), I’m especially drawn to the counsel of Betsy Myers, who served as senior advisor to Barack Obama’s presidential campaign. “Bloom where you are planted,” she says.  Which means strive for excellence where you are; it will gird you for future success.

I’ve decided to pass along my copy to my teenage friends, Maddie and Izzy.  They’re the daughters of my dear friends, Julie and Rick, who, in my view, are doing everything right to raise self-confident, aware, socially conscious young women.  Maddie and Izzy are poised to lead and should reach for the stars.

In the generous spirit of Secrets of Powerful Women, I urge you buy a copy, read it and then share the wealth with a young woman on the cusp of adulthood.

Only by fanning the fires of powerful women far and wide are we likely to shatter “those 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling” that Hilary Clinton famously intoned during her failed bid for President in 2008.

By the way, proceeds from the book benefit the White House Project, a leading voice for women’s leadership founded by the extraordinary Marie Wilson.